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Audio slide Show from Virginian-Pilot

http://hamptonroads.com/2007/12/peace-dawn

Apr 21 2008

Wow....I can not believe it has been almost a year since all this has happened. Indeed, the last 11 months have been full of obstacles, hardships, and learning experiences. However, through all the trials, I have seen kindness and love that I will never forget; I was speechless when strangers, as well as my loved ones, came together to offer their support. I can not put in words of  how grateful we are for everything. May 2 is approaching fast and I can't help but recall last year at this time my life was extremely busy; just coming off spring break and getting back into my normal routine of school all day. Followed by nightly mom duties, working out, and ending with studying until 2 in the morning and I absolutely loved everything second of it.  I never thought in a million years life would throw me such a curve ball. Now my normal routine is slower, but my heart and mind are still that fun, strong headed, perfectionist, determined, and goal setting Dawn I have always been. Time still has its way of going by as if there were only a few hours in a day. I continue my daily workouts....I remember in rehab laying in bed with two broken arms and not being allowed to do any weight bearing...each day I gave my doctor the puppy eyes to allow me to start to lift weights...it never worked...but I tried. I continue my therapy and up until a couple days ago I was in the pool three to four times a week. Not thinking, I set my laptop on my lap and the bottom of it burned my leg and am currently unable to swim.  I finally got my mustang modified and am back behind the wheel driving like a wild child. For the first time in almost a year I drove my girls to school and it felt so good to be able to see my girls off to school again. Driving with hand controls took a little bit to get use to...but once you do...it is a breeze. It is not the same as having a van I can wheel into on my own and  go about the day...for I need help getting my wheelchair in and out of the mustang...but I am lucky to be able to drive once again. Also, I have been working on using braces....it is a goal that may take some time...but I know it is possible. My body continues to heal slowly and I still gleam like a kid in a candy store when I accomplish new obstacles. My pain is still there and some days are worse than others; however, the pain has improved compared to the first 4 or 5 months after my shooting. I remember every day I asked my nurse how much longer will the pain be there...it was always the same answer, "it takes time Dawn" and I gritted my teeth and tried to hold back the tears until I could no longer. I was told when the spinal cord was burned, like mine, the nerves become angry and held grudges....that the pain will fade but might not ever go away.  I am grateful my pain level has eased some. Both of my index finger's pain has completely gone away; I assume the nerve endings healed....this gives me hope for my other fingers, but if not I am so grateful to have the use of my arms and hands and fingers! My sensations from my chest down are slowing coming back, but I still can't feel hot and cold....hence my huge burn on my leg!  LOL. Emotionally, I guess one thing I worried about the most was people not being able to see past my wheelchair..... to see I am the same as before and actually in some funny way better than before may 2,2007.  I have learned this is a worry I need not concern about. My dreams and goals have been altered a little, but I still dream of getting back on the track and running my weekly 10 mile runs in a special wheelchair designed for racing; instead of being a RAD technician I have decided to go for a radiologist and most importantly I am still here teaching my two girls the important things in life! THANK YOU for your support and prayers for me and my family.

Dec 16 2007

These past months have been the longest and hardest I have ever experienced; yet, they have brought my family and friends a closeness we will treasure forever. The bonds I have with my closest friends have became stronger. I have struggled through the physical and mental battles of being a quadriplegic; through the materialism of my appearance in today's society, and wonder what is my spiritual calling and reason I survived. My life was wrapped around my daily 10 mile runs and 72 laps in the army pool; I strived to be the fittest I had ever been; my goal was to experience a triathlon by my 31st birthday. I saw myself as a 5'9 beautiful woman; I loved how all the hard work I done sculpted my body and now I can barely get one leg into my size 8 jeans. I read an e-mail I recently received and this gentlemen worded perfectly how I see myself now...he explained how he too loved to run but because of his struggles with cancer it left his body a shell of it's former self....indeed these bullets that pierced my body did the same. These struggles will be a part of my life to the end, but I know as time continues they will get easier. I still strive to be the fittest as my body allows, to look as nice as I can; yet, life has a different meaning now. There were times I laid in my hospital bed and wondered why bad thing happen to good people; why the loving God I grew to know and love would let such tragic events happen. I now know he can not intervene and stop our free will he gave us; yet, he try's to make good thing come out of a bad situation. I now know there is a reason I survived 5 bullets.

 It has been seven months since that night on May 2 and I have tried to prepare myself on seeing these four kids who held guns to my head once again; this time I knew they could not harm my family and that they had to face their crimes and be punished. Their sentencing was fast approaching and on the plane ride to Virginia I wondered how my girls would act upon seeing these individuals in the courtroom. Thursday December 13, 2007 I found myself on the witness stand starring straight in the eyes of what I called my enemy; I did not let him intimidate me the night of May 2 and I was determined not to let him do it to me that day either. For the next 3 sentencings I found myself doing the same. I learned that the reason one of the shooters fired at me and my girls was because he did not want us to identify him; I faced one of the robbers mother whom was sincere and apologetic about the choices her son made that night. I had my closest friends there supporting me during these crazy days and I am grateful that they were able to share these days with me...that they were there to support me and my girls....THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!! These sentencings were intense and left me emotionally drained, but I am glad they are over and I can put them behind me. The two shooters got life plus 173 days and the other 123 years. Afterwards, I was asked a questioned that left me emotionally in turmoil....was justice served with the judges decision. I was left without any words and wondered how I should feel about it. I finally realized to me justice would be served with these kids being shot five times leaving them without their legs and arms; leaving them with the daily physical neurological pain of their skin feeling like gasoline was poured on them followed by a lit match being tossed on them; with the pain that feels like knives are constantly being stabbed in them; with the loss of their bladder and bowels or the incapability to cough or roll over in bed or even sit up. I want them to never be able to feel an itch or the touch of a butterfly landing on their body. I want them to live with the daily pain of stiffen swollen joints caused by how the spinal cord was singed by the bullet. To live a life never being able to stand.....but I am happy they will never be able to hurt anyone else again. 

I still have limited function in my hands but they have gotten much stronger; feeling has come back in my stomach and I have some sensation to the touch of my legs. This feeling however feels numb and as if my body fell asleep and is waking up...this is my new feeling and sensation. My pain continues and my body has learned to tolerate it; however there are nights I am left bed ridden from the pain. I am up to lifting 40 pounds and, with my husband holding my legs in a push up position, doing 81 push ups. I continue with healing my body and learning how to live on my own. I will never have the energy as I did prior to the event and get tired easily, I now live a slower life. I am ready to start driving again and to go back to school. I have beat the odds and I am grateful to have lived.

Aug 11 2007 - Dawn's own words

I would like to begin by saying thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. I am almost done with in-patient care and will continue with outpatient care for a while. I have gotten much stronger, but still have a ways to go in gaining strength. I count all my blessings every day and have realized how fragile the human body is...for I never thought I would ever have to face such a challenge in my life. However, the most important thing I have learned is to appreciate all that God has given you...never take that for granted. I am lucky to have such a supportive family and friends to help me through the difficult times. I am learning how to do new things each day...you would not believe how hard it is to get dressed, but it gets easier each day; however it still takes almost 30 minutes to do. As my fingers get stronger my typing gets better...my handwriting however still needs work...I am lucky enough to have the ability to still have the use of my fingers. I would love the pain in them to go away...one day I hope. Kayla and Destyni, my two girls, are doing good....they are getting ready for school to start. They will continue to live with their grandparents until I finish outpatient care. I miss them so much...this is the first time I have ever been away from them...so these past few months have been difficult being away from them...however they are only 6 hours away so they have been here to visit three times...which I have treasured.  I have not been able to move my legs yet but have increased sensation in them...especially in my right leg.  I am able to tell which direction my right leg is in without looking which is a huge accomplishment for me.  I had increased sensation in my back, however on my front side I still cannot feel from my chest down. So in God's time maybe one day I will be able to feel more or/and walk again.  Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers.

Dawn has a long road of recovery ahead of her and we ask for everyone’s prayers while she goes through her long stage of recovery and physical therapy.   Her and her family greatly appreciates all the support everyone has given to her in her time of need.

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